June 5, 2013.

Seoul Museum of Art.

Sejongno.

The Catcher in the Rye.

One of my friends recommend me this during the freshman year. It's been on my mind ever since then and I finally had the chance to read it- as the sophomore summer break started and the time is only thing I got. 

As I read it through, there were multiple occasions where I could  related myself to the protagonist Holden Caulfield, who has become a known icon of teenage angst and alienation. Then I remembered all the talks I had on the issues of identity, belonging, connection, and alienation through drinks and nights.

-

"You could go there (Museum of Natural History) a hundred thousand times, and that Eskimo would still be just finished catching those two fish, the birds would still be on their way south, the deers would still be drinking out of that water hole. Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you."

"Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that, exactly. You'd just be different, that's all. You'd have an overcoat on this time. Or the kid that was your partner in line the last time had got scarlet fever and you'd have have a new partner. Or you'd heard your mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom." It's true; I've probably been the exact same person since I was born, except all the small experiences and little decisions that would've drift me to where/who I am now. 

"I mean you'd be different in some way- I can't explain what I mean. And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it." It's pretty awesome that I'm still a coming of age cliché; so much frustration and yet with much anticipation.

-

One of the constant themes of the book is Holden's alienation as a form of self-protection. He wears his hunting hat to advertise his uniqueness and difference from others. However, it also forms cynical sense of superiority within him, which ultimately serves as a type of self-protection, and prevents normal interactions with others. 'Alienation is both the source of holden's strength and the source of his problems.'

June 1, 2013.

It's been three years since its inception, so I've made little changes for the blog. 1) the title has been replaced by less cliche one- KEN. Simple, bold, and very clear on who's filling the pages. Still a cliche whatnot but appropriate considering my age. 2) layout has been modified to be more like a timeline, which reflects the purposes of the blog better and my desire to be minimalistic. 3) Personal information, such as full name, has been removed for better anonymity. Not really been an issue in the past but for genuine contents for the future.

May 30, 2013.

Seoul is probably the most vulnerable place against any North Korean issues; Danger/Preparedness of war is entrenched in the mind of elder generation who already experienced it during the 50s and those who grew up with anti-communist propaganda through out the past century.

Apparently subway station is the place to go in case of a crisis- it becomes an underground network which can be used as evacuate routes and shelter against building collapse and explosive shells. Freaky.

GT Tower.

May 23, 2013.

네모의 꿈.

 예술의 전당에서 반포대로 방면을 보다가 문득 초등학교때 들었던 네모의 꿈 (1996) 이 생각났다. 대학생이 된 이후로 들어본건 처음인데, 수학시간에 '도형의 성질'에 대한 '흥미'를 위해 '우수 멀티미디어 자료'로 봤을때 와는 사뭇 다른 느낌으로 다가왔다; 네모가 의미하는것이 단순한 도형이 아니라는것. 단순하고 친숙한 멜로디이지만 성인을 위한 동요라는것. 둥근 지구에 부속품들이 네모난 이유는 네모의 꿈일지도 모른다는것.

 "네모난 달력에 그려진 똑같은 하루를, 의식도 못한 채로 그냥 숨만 쉬고 있는걸. 주위를 둘러보면 모두 네모난 것들 뿐인데, 우린 언제나 듣지 잘난 어른의 멋진 이 말- 세상은 둥글게 살아야해."

Georges Rousse.

@Seoul Art Centre. Exhibition on Space-Fiction-Photography.

Camera, a device once known to capture reality, 

being used for creating the pictorial space only visible through the medium.

May 19, 2013.

This picture sums up my summer so far- Time of transition and paths to choose

On the side note, Korean alphabet can be very aesthetic like the International Typographic style.

Family Road Trip.

Envy and Self-direction.

TED talk: 'A kinder, gentler philosophy of success' by Alain de Botton.

"I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching, to be envious of the Queen of England. Even though she is much richer than any of you are. And she's got a very large house. The Reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird. She's simply too strange. We can't relate to her. She speaks in a funny way. She comes from an odd place. So we can't relate to her. And when you can't relate to somebody. you don't envy them."

"The closer two people are, in age, in background, in the process of identification, the more there is a danger of envy- which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion- because there is no stronger reference point than people one was at school with."

The feeling of envy is not pleasant and yet unavoidable. De Botton's excerpt on the matter directly reflects of what I wrote last December: Being jealous of my elementary school peers after being added to the facebook group.

Being in Seoul, especially the same neighbourhood that I was born and raised, keeps me under certain pressure. Peers (excluding friends; friends are always exceptional for unknown reasons) here and I share very similar level of elementary/middle school education and parental income/support- ultimately leaving me vulnerable for the feeling of jealousy for peer's success. Even though I started to perceive the hollowness on the idea of giving importance on the name of university and the program attending, the thought gets insignificant while I'm in the same neighbourhood.

---

Therefore, studying in Canada- or anywhere else but from my childhood neighbourhood- gives me better sense of self-direction and more thoughts gravitated towards myself and away from the environment. Only when I'm away from the comparable and familiar environment, I can be more genuine about seeking ideas through curiosity, setting goals with confidence, and take action through courage.

"So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but we should make sure that they are our own. we should focus in on our ideas. and make sure that we own them., that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it's bad enough, not getting what you want, but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of a journey, that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along."

May 15, 2013.

May 13, 2013.

Making each day count is probably one of the hardest thing to do.

Impermanence.

Impermanence (無常/무상) is one of three marks of existence in Buddhism, along with suffering and emptiness. The term expresses the Buddhist notion that all of conditioned existence, without exception, is in a constant state of flux.

May 12, 2013.

Architecture of Happiness.

"It is only logical that we should be drawn to styles that speak of excitement as well as calm, of grandeur as well as cosiness, given that these are key polarities around which our own lives revolve. As Stendhal knew, there are as many styles of beauty as there are visions of happiness."

Making connection between our happiness and misery with the quality of our environment: the kind of walls, chairs, buildings, and streets that surround us. 

May 9, 2013.

Noryangjin Fisheries Wholesale Market.

May 5, 2013.

Home.

"There is no necessary connection between the concepts of home and of prettiness; what we call a home is merely any place that succeeds in making more consistently available to us the important truths which the wider world ignores, or which our distracted and irresolute selves have trouble holding on to."

- The Architecture of Happiness by Alain de Botton 

It always make me think when people ask me where my home is. My answer is usually that I consider Ottawa as my home but neither me nor my parents are living there- and that I've grown up in Seoul but currently living in Toronto. 

When it comes down to the personal level, I truly believe in the phrase "home is where the heart is".

Intercontinental Flight.

Fragmented sleep. Airline meal. Free beer. White noise. Long haul.

Night at the Airport.

"Had one been asked to take a Martian to visit a single place that neatly captures the gamut of themes

 running through our civilization- from our faith in technology to our destruction of nature, from our interconnectedness

to our romanticizing of travel- then it would have to be to the departures and arrivals halls that one would head."

- A Week at the Airport: Heathrow Diary by Alain de Botton

Moved Out.

It's just really weird to see the room that was once full of life going back to the scratch.

Followed by the last moment of closing the door but without the need for locking it.