Envy and Self-direction.

TED talk: 'A kinder, gentler philosophy of success' by Alain de Botton.

"I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching, to be envious of the Queen of England. Even though she is much richer than any of you are. And she's got a very large house. The Reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird. She's simply too strange. We can't relate to her. She speaks in a funny way. She comes from an odd place. So we can't relate to her. And when you can't relate to somebody. you don't envy them."

"The closer two people are, in age, in background, in the process of identification, the more there is a danger of envy- which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion- because there is no stronger reference point than people one was at school with."

The feeling of envy is not pleasant and yet unavoidable. De Botton's excerpt on the matter directly reflects of what I wrote last December: Being jealous of my elementary school peers after being added to the facebook group.

Being in Seoul, especially the same neighbourhood that I was born and raised, keeps me under certain pressure. Peers (excluding friends; friends are always exceptional for unknown reasons) here and I share very similar level of elementary/middle school education and parental income/support- ultimately leaving me vulnerable for the feeling of jealousy for peer's success. Even though I started to perceive the hollowness on the idea of giving importance on the name of university and the program attending, the thought gets insignificant while I'm in the same neighbourhood.

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Therefore, studying in Canada- or anywhere else but from my childhood neighbourhood- gives me better sense of self-direction and more thoughts gravitated towards myself and away from the environment. Only when I'm away from the comparable and familiar environment, I can be more genuine about seeking ideas through curiosity, setting goals with confidence, and take action through courage.

"So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but we should make sure that they are our own. we should focus in on our ideas. and make sure that we own them., that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it's bad enough, not getting what you want, but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of a journey, that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along."